faith_walker450's Xanga

Three Amigos (reposted)

Wed, 13 May 2009 08:19:26 GMT

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

hmm......look at us now, boys from the hood, boys to the end.....boys. we each must have a ton of photos of the three of us posing like this. words are not needed when i post this up, people that know us will just know the friendship and more so the brother-hood we share with each other. the midnight calls to vent and speak of the unspoken words even to the closest of close that we each have. what blessings we are to each other and how thankful i am to have the two of them. good thing that they are smarter than i am, advice for me is often needed. hahahaha....

grew up together now we grow oldER together, what a treat!! this pleasure is something not shared by many in this world.....how delicate and amazing it is that through it all we have remained strong and together. TOGETHER.....that is how we will treverse the paths of life, helping each other along, celebrating the joys and shedding tears the hurts. with arms around one another is how we stay together afloat in this world with things and people that tries to drown us in their pettiness.
look at us now........what you see is our past / present / future, look at us......
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SHUN DEE (reposted)

Friday, April 25, 2003

"FAMILIA"...."SHUN DEE"...."CHINKU"...."HING DAI"....no matter how you say it or what language you use it means the same. the constant and dependablity of one's companion. i am a "brother for LIFE" with few few good "HING DAIs" though there is one particular brother that i hold closer than close itself. we went through good times and bad times together and many times over. we celebrated and rejoice from graduation to wedding reception. going from homegroup to praise team we experienced it all together the ups and downs we take it all as it hits us like punches thrown, left, right, uppercut but never do we get tko and staying down for the count is not an option. our life intertwine so much often i forget or wished he is not just a brother in spirit but a real brother to me. distance of a continent couldn't keep us apart and couldn't tear down what we have built throughout the years. he and his has helped me through many bad times such as sitting at my house when the seizures got real bad and just watched helplessly as i try to get rest for my exhausted battle weary body with his heart broke and hurting while i am in the fetal position praying to God "take me home now!" but God's got other plans for me. been there for the tears as well as good like celebrating with me at my photo gallery show. he was the only one of my friends that when i left for NY that wrote me a letter and i am not talking about email. hand written with ink, tearjerker the letter was and i kept it while i was in NY having it as a reminder of what the goods are in my life. "bigger and better things like we talked and dreamed about in high school" was what he wrote in the letter, still i remember. not a soul in this world compares to this who i call "SHUN DEE" (brother)

he broke my heart one night after praying by telling me he prays for me and my nightly seizures visits EVERY single mornig while driving to his job. as a deacon and friend first i should be praying for him and his but i have failed him yet he still continues to lift me up in his prayers EVERYDAY. i was both broken inside and shocked that there is such a brother out there doing something so selfless when he himself is suffering so much. he doesn't just concentrates on his own troubles but EVERY morning he finds time to pray for my stupid ass seizures, yeah i said it. stupid ass seizures. he remembers me while i only remember him and his on occasions like PNL. my life is first God's no dounbt, then it is to sa mo nim and people like him and his. in an earlier posting i asked this "would you die for any of your friends?" question answered with confidence. i am sure there are others that pray for me on a daily basis and i am utterly completely grateful for such a selfless act of compassion to my suffering. i will hold tight this brother of mine, for we all have friends but a brother like this......shishkabob......you've gotta be born with. like i said to you "SHUN DEE" many times before "whatever you need brother...." i never had so much love for anyone as i have for you and yours......thanks for the constant prayer on the way to work.....i will remember you and yours daily, this i promise you.......thanks for the love andy.....

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Uneasy Feeling of Nothingness

Wed, 04 Mar 2009 12:45:41 GMT

so it's over! my time on the council at lifehouse is over....wheew! just got a few things to tie up is all and it will be truly over. congrats to the new council members who has the courage to take over this very demanding 24/7 job. yohs and i carried this responsibility long enough and now the young bloods can come in with fresh ideas and all and run this not so little church and make it blow up. thank God we got this far without falling apart.

it does however feels funny to be able to sit in the pews and worship instead of always standing in the back focusing on pj and watching his every move just in case he signals that he needed something or another. things are running so right. we may not ever be a mega church and i think our specialty is that we are not and that we are very much about the individual as well as the whole. as a not so small church we can still be attentive to each others needs and not get lost in large numbers like mega churches. i don't want to go to a church where i am just known as a number. that's like high school, all you have is your id number in a school of 3000 hahahahahha.

nice.......go fan4 go
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Forty Pieces for your soul...

Sun, 07 Dec 2008 09:55:11 GMT

bending your self proclaimed "principles" to the point of broke. twisting what is untrue to fit your deception. wanting so badly to possess what is not yours that you start to have a stench so strong it kills the gas i pass. fooling the "duel" but you don't fool me. i see you and more so i see through you. clear as glass you are transparent. how does it feel to pretend, lie and destroy. entrusted you were with a responsibility. to which you intentionally ignored for what you figured would be profitable to "self". was that how you were taught? was that the "method" that you have been programed? convince me that you really didn't mean it that you didn't really think that your factitious good intentions justifies the lying, malicious, greedy and murderous means that you brought us all to this point of no return.

how are you going to explain this away this time mr. ha? your forked tongue have served you well before so i am sure you will find a way to explain how you sold the faith that your congregation had in you to take them to the "promise land" for 500 thousand greenbacks. maybe you can tell them that it's for the best that you didn't really mean it when you said this is your home church or that this is where your kids grew up or this is what you will die for.

Brotha! let me tell you.....i DIE for this! i wouldn't ask for anymore than what was given to me nor would i do any less that is required of me. $500K does not begin to buy my loyalty nor does it push me to sin against another brother as you so blatantly without regard to how much it hurt God above have done so calculatingly. my soul is worth way more than $500K mr. ha! i have been already paid in full. maybe you forgot about how you were paid in full with no outstanding balance. i can only shake my head at the thought of the inconsiderate ways you and your leaders have went about this. not thinking for others including your own people. not trying to end the suffering and pain but just selfishly trying to get what you think is owed you. WHO IS YOU my brotha? who is you to ask for the biggest piece of chicken?

i tell you the truth mr. ha...you just done did sold yours and your people's souls for a mere $500K. unless my Spiritual math is out of whack theni say you ripped yourself a new one along with all them people that bought into your lies. good luck mr. ha....what goes around comes around and when it comes around it is twice as hard. i have a bag with 40 pieces of silver waiting for you, come get some.
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Re-Post: PJ's 1st sermon at Lifehouse....

Thu, 06 Nov 2008 11:55:14 GMT

Pastor John came with it and came correct. He had people crying during his sermon like i never seen before then Pastor John was overcome with tears his ownself at the end. The pouring of water you all hear in the end is Pastor John getting on both knees and washing Deacon Yohsuke Miki, Youth Pastor Dennis Shin and my (Deacon Ben Lee) feet. It was a moment i will not forget for a long time. Emotions in me ran so high i couldn't stop my hands from shaking. I am sure without a doubt that the Pastor Search Committee made the right choice in bringing Pastor John to LHM. Things will be different and better.....can't you feel it LHousers?
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audio sermon runs about 60min long but dang.....it's worth the listen if you weren't at my church.....or a second listen. me...i listened to it like 2-3 times now.

Continuation of my struggle.......

Sat, 06 Sep 2008 09:10:40 GMT

as i went into work today and got my tie tied and readied myself mentally for the shift coming up and waited around for the briefing to start everything was going fine until the end of briefing which is when my supervisor "david" came at me again with the pop quiz and questions of this and that. it's not i don't know the correct answer but it's just insulting and damn near degrading to always be quizzed on your job while others do not (like his own sister who also works with us). so david came at me again asking trivial questions of policies and whatnot. it annoyed me that he would immediately pick me again after yesterday to direct these questions to.

to his questioning i politely but annoyed said "i am not answering any of your questions". i think he was a bit embarrassed or something but quickly ask someone else. it's not i didn't know the correct answer, i just didn't want to play this retarded game. if i did my job poorly then he has grounds to retrain me or put me through a refresher course with the company. but this singling out in the presence of my co-workers is degrading and i just won't play ball to please his every pleasure and amusement. they can do this trivia without me.

so before i left the office, david said to me "make sure you know all this" i was like "what!" i calmly said to him "unless i don't know or make a mistake, don't ask me these questions anymore" then i walked off. i thought i handled it pretty well. usually david is pretty professional and nice. i don't know what happened these couple days. maybe he think i am challenging his authority.....i have no intention of doing that but i do know how to do my job and these trivia quizzes are stupid.

so i thought this little thing was over.......ha was it mislead. so i have to go downstairs to take care of baggage at 730pm. around 7pm we were pretty much done with checking-in and by the way guess who checked in the most passengers....anyways it was empty like a ghost town, nobody in line and we were just all standing around with nothing to do. at 720pm i cleaned up like i always do to prepare to head downstairs. so i leave the counter at 720pm so i can make it down to the ramp by 730pm and take care of baggage. half way there i get a call on the radio and it's david asking where i was, i tell him i am on my way and he says "you left too early..." so i came back to the check-in counter with no one in line and my counter with no supplies. he told me to share a counter with angee who is next to me. i was like "are you outside your mind? i always leave at this time and you never said nothing before." he started asking me why i leave so early. i told him i leave now so i can get down to where i got to be on time. so for another 10 minutes i didn't do nothing but check in like 2 passengers. what's his deal? power trippin' claudia said. i told her it seems that way but i don't want to say that just yet because he always been nice to me.

oh well, maybe i irked him with my refusal to answer his trivia questions. this best not continue. whatever......he's my superior so what he says goes.......or does it? he ain't dealing with kids up in heeah.
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Unimaginably Redoodid

Fri, 05 Sep 2008 11:05:56 GMT

before we started work, we normally have a briefing of what's what and if there's anything special to look out for while checking in each day. today my supervisor david took time out and wanted to suddenly quiz us.....no let me rephrase ME on things and policies. he started asking me about business class check in stuff and off the top of my head i couldn't come up with the right answer and then he went on to ask me the configuration of the plane and where what seat was. all this information that somehow he pick me to ask when i don't check in all that much but instead i do baggage so they slip my memory if it's not practiced. in front of the whole crew i was like tested and when i answered wrong he said "how long have you worked here" i was like, what tha........i answered some correctly and some i didn't know because it wasn't the job duties i performed on a daily basis or ever!

i felt like i was singled out and all through out the shift i was in a bad mood. i think since i passed the training and the company thought i am capable of doing my job efficiently and might i say the best out of everyone at NZ who worked there longer or as long as i did. c'mon i check in the fastest, the most and with the least problems. how dare he in front of everyone quiz me on things i don't do and duties that aren't familiar to me or part of my everyday job duties. if the company says it's okay for me to work then this pop quiz BS is unwarranted and irritating at that. next time i will with all due respect refuse to play his pop quiz game.

unless it's an official refresher course given by the company i am not going to be singled out in front of my co-workers and do a dog and pony show for his amusement. that's just bull kaka...you know me, i couldn't just let it go like that so in the end after the interrogation of me....i busted out "i know how to do baggage (sarcastically).....can anyone else tell me how to do baggage?" .......................the silence was triumphant deafening as no one can answer YES. what a joke.....i already passed the training bizznizzle.....don't pop quiz me for your amusement and pleasure. unless i do something wrong otherwise don't assume i don't know my job or i need to be quizzed and refreshed of anything. actually, they should just assume i am the best they got out of all the employees.....and that's undisputed.
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Missin' You...

Sun, 31 Aug 2008 09:28:20 GMT

Dang girl......I miss you tons......
I think about you almost daily
It brings me to smile in remembering you
Soon.....
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Lovin' It......

Fri, 29 Aug 2008 12:10:17 GMT

i love it....my work is so quick and fast and things and people come at you at an incomprehensible speed, i love the fact that you have to always be on your feet and think quickly on the go. it's different everyday and never dull. i have a deadline to meet each day and once we finish with today then there's another for tomorrow. it never ends. other people can plan their week and spread out the workload but that's a luxury i can't afford.

i guess it's not the work because it can be repetitive and robotic but to hear people say you did a good job or excellent and many thank yous makes me content in the heart and happy with my skinny pay check. to be able to feel that even if they crash, burn and all die in a ball of flames.....at least they will have the memory of their last airport flight check-in experience was a pleasant one before they had to eternally check out. ahahhahahaha that was a good one....i make myself crack up with that one..........
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Ain't Nothing Like It

Sun, 24 Aug 2008 09:22:17 GMT

is it more the routine of this i dig or is it the daily regiment that intrigues me so. not quite sure if it's the people or the job that keeps me there. can it be the rush of getting the assignments done and pushing the plane on time? certainly it can't be the constant deadline and arduous tasks i am bound to. the scare of making mistakes and doing wrong surely aren't something i look forward to. being chewed out don't please me and it ain't one of my favorite things to do to someone else neither. yet here i am still at sfo and lovin' each day i am there. how weird eh. my hours are whacked and days off are non-consecutive. there is no weekends really for me and don't even talk about fridays, i have none. think i have too many mondays tho.

usually my shift ends about 930pm but this night due to some mechanical leakage problems with one of the 12 brakes i stayed until 2am. what an event it turned out to be. had to call this person to get this and that person to get that truck. defuel the plane and transfer the fuel for even balance. a lot of waiting around. we HAD to fly tonight. there was not one single hotel room available in sf. nowhere to send the 300 passengers if we offloaded them all. fortunately after waiting and waiting and then some more we got the "OK" from the engineer to go go go. finally i can go home.......personally with a brake fluid leakage like that, shooty shoot shoot, couldn't pay me to fly in that plane. they some brave souls.......
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Let's Talk Talk

Fri, 22 Aug 2008 11:52:55 GMT

wheeew....communication is a tricky thing ya'll. i figure you have to be highly skilled to communicate something personal without being emotional. i tell ya, i can't do it. i figure i am a person right? so everything to me IS personal and carry with it emotions and all that jazz that comes with being a person. why does it have to be water-downed to suit the world's need. is it right to always have to put our feelings aside and emotions on hold while trying to communicate this or that to another person. shouldn't the whole of the person be transpired via the conversation and not just parts of them? still trying to figure this out. the artist / creative me says there shouldn't be any bounds, let it all hang out. let the world know how i feel at every moment. not do so would make me a more polite me, sure. it would make me a more acceptable me, no doubt. it would tone me down to have a inside voice me, unfortunately. but through all that it would make me a fake me. always having a facade...one for this person...then another for dealing with another person and yet another for this other person i hang out with. how confusing and how much work that can get to be. people say "just be yourself"....but they don't really mean it. if i were really being myself i think it would be intolerable at certain moments even for me. this balance is yet another challenge for me. the real me, the acceptable me what to do what to do. i have to find a median in all this.
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